Sean and Nessie had been to Mexico before about 10 years previous, but it was on my bucket list of places to go. Caroline was happy to give it a go as well as we had spent a lot of our time holidaying with the kids in Europe.
Now our kids are all grown up, its time for us to start living our lives and enjoying ourselves. As a group we have always put our kids first having taken them on all our holidays over the years all over the world. But having a family young then gives you the chance to let your life begin at forty! To be fair its only Sean who is close to forty the rest of us were pushing half a century but that's a small detail. Fifty is the next forty is what they say.
So Mexico bound we found ourselves going and we were all excited about it. The flight as usual was long but Caroline and Sean made the most of it sleeping as soon as we took off. Nessie and I left to sit there on our own making the most of the TV and films provided.
The highlight of the flight for me was when Sean was woken up not long before we landed to be given his Cornetto. He was gutted and rather put out that it was a toddler size one and not the real thing. He still goes on about it now!
Getting our cases and going through the immigration was again very long and boring. You get kettled all the way through with people pushing in like they are gonna get something better than you for being in front. It was quite interesting though as we saw a young woman coming by us who we had all noticed getting on the plane. The reason we noticed her was that when she got on she had a short but thick knitted dress on and also a massive pair of green wellies. She was all glammed up as the young girls do these days with half a tonne of make up on and not a hair out of place. We had all looked at each other and thought silly cow. Your going to Mexico and you have Wellies on WTF! Anyway as we were heading through immigration we saw her again, this time she still had the knitted dress and wellies on, but the heat seemed to melt her made up face. It was all over the place and her perfect hair now looked like she had been in a cat fight and had been dragged along by it!
We felt a little smug!
The smugness was wiped off of our faces however as when we got outside it was actually pissing down! Wellies not a bad shout then! made my crocs look a bit daft have to say. As we left the arrivals area we came straight out to a crowd of men all wearing the same, blue shirts and white trousers. They came up saying "Thompson holidays this way". So to us looked totally legit. However do not be fooled by this. These are just men trying to make a living by carrying your bags to the coach for tips.
Now I don't have an issue with that people have to make a living but it would have been nice to know about this prior to landing. At least then you can prepare for it. When I go on holiday I normally take cash in a money belt. So trying to find small denomination notes without the guy seeing what I had was a little difficult. This meant that I gave more than the going rate for this.
So if you are going to Cancun keep and odd $5 handy for the cases man. They take American $ all over Mexico, you dont have to have local currancy.
Cancun is a man made resort built especially for the tourist trade by the Mexican government. It is very beautiful and very safe. The people are very friendly and helpful also. This is their bread and butter and they want to look after it.
The Hotel we were staying in was fabulous https://www.facebook.com/pages/Crown-Paradise-Cancun-Hotel-Y-Spa/419483681471136 the rooms wrap around an open area and to one side there is the beach with an infinity pool pool bar and kids pool. There is also a roof top pool again with its own bar. It was really clean and had several restaurants and a couple of bars and even a little night club. I would recommend it for sure.
One night we couldn't get in anywhere and both Caroline and Nessie were fuming about it. I have said before that Caroline is my pit bull but Nessie is not much better to be honest. The two of them angry together Jeez look out. The woman behind the counter at reception was unmovable and the manager did not want to come out and face them. So in the deadlock Sean and I were despatched to the Steak house to see if there were any free tables. Of course there were loads, on knowing this Caroline and Nessie went direct and collared the manager of the restaurant. By this time the snarling had turned to butter wouldn't melt, and the manager quickly made us a special table up and gave us to free champagne. We had been in there a few times and the food was lush. We had made friends with the waiters so we were looked after. The reason we were told it was full was due to a large contingent of Koreans being in there and they were keeping the staff busy. But they found time for us. Caroline and Nessie made a B line to let the reception know we had beat her. She was not happy!
The Koreans in the steak house cracked us up as they had a bull riding thing in there and these old Koreans were loving it. Waving cowboy hats and yehaing (is that a word?) I pissed myself at them but they were having a great time.
Something to be aware of if you are going to Cancun is that there is not a lot of night life around the hotel area. You have to go downtown to be able to go to bars clubs and so on. The hotels do their best to entertain and be independent and for the most part this is fine. But we do like to get out and about and check out little bars and so on. The holiday was all inclusive and we did have a massive choice but do be prepared for that aspect of it. The main bar in our hotel was a London bar. Which consisted of a place playing the Beatles and having pictures of London buses on the wall. It was OK we could play pool and have a laugh but when we were there it was a bit quiet.
The biggest thing to happen in there was when part of the roof gave way and the rain came in like a waterfall. Caroline went to tell the barman and some random pissed American woman came over with a bit of tissue! " you might need a bit more than that love" Caroline said as the rain was pissing in. " Oh my" was the ladies response with a quick exit stage left! The barman didn't do much more than just move the tables out of the way. Apparently there was a refurb going on so its fine to let the place sink, apparently!
Just down some steps from the pool and there was a beautiful wide beach with sun loungers all along for your use. The sand is lovely and white but not too hot for your feet. Inevitably there are beach sellers all over. This is the same at all resorts although the stuff they sell can vary. In Cancun the main item for sale was Cuban Cigars. Well that's what they said they were anyway. None of us smoke so we weren't very interested. Cuba is another place on my list and so if you are going to try cigars surely it can wait until I get there to make sure its the real deal!
The beach sellers don't harass you too much to be fair I have had far worse in Gran Caneria and Spain. But if you like bartering with people for fake sunglasses and designer handbags then you will find you can here.
I would however like to give a warning regarding the beach and the sea here. The sea looks really inviting. It is clear and blue and is part of the Caribbean, but be aware there is a serious undercurrent here.
Sean bought a Go Pro camera just before we left for the holiday. These are the cameras that are waterproof and do video and action shots. You can buy all sorts of accessories to enable you to take selfies and so on. So on this particular day we all decided to take a stroll along the beach. We were paddling sort of up to our knees as you do. As the waves started to come in Sean and I thought it would be fun to jump some waves and video or action. Out we went jumping and so on. before too long I started to feel that I was getting a little too deep and too far out and so i said to Sean about making our way back in. As I was doing so I noticed Caroline wading out towards me waving me back in. I started to start to swim towards her but then all of a sudden she disappeared. I started to panic as I knew she was in the water somewhere. I tried and tried with all I could to swim towards where she had been standing. It was impossible I was being swept away to the left and I could not make any headway at all. I was desperate to get some type of footing so I could move faster. It seemed like an eternity passed before I could get my feet on the ground.
I was shattered at one point I thought I would not make it back to shore myself, but Caroline was still missing. Nessie was on the beach shouting trying to see her. Then out of nowhere a jet ski appeared the rider stopped reached into the sea and grabbed Caroline by the arm. He then dragged her to the shore.
By the time I managed to get there Caroline was being comforted by Nessie and Sean was just getting there also. The jet ski however vanished, just like that he was gone! Caroline was really upset and frightened.She had intended to come and wave us in as she was worried we were too far out. But out of the blue the current took her and she was unable to do anything about it!
I am convinced that had the jet ski man not come along she would have drowned! I am not exaggerating.
To this day I have no idea where that guy came from or where he went but I know he saved Coraline's life that day. It could have all been so different. So if you go there be aware that there is a flag system to tell you where is safe, do not let your kids go to deep and always stay where you are comfortable.
The undercurrent is very very strong, and you may not be as lucky as we were.
Next to our hotel was another hotel that had been badly hit by a hurricane a year or so earlier. It was not sealed off and so you could go in and explore. There were loads of Iguanas running around there and so Caroline and I went in to investigate and get some pictures.
We are all the sort of people who like to see what there is to see when on holiday. We are not action people but we dont just sit by the pool. We arranged to go on several trips whilst we were in Cancun. but we did make the mistake of booking them through the holiday rep. If you go outside of the hotel you can get a bus that takes you up into the town area. There are places there where you can get the same trips and cheaper. It is just a case of if you trust it?
The first trip we decided to go on was to the ancient pyramids of Chichen Itza. This is one of the wonders of the world. So this was a chance not to be missed.
To go here was a long coach ride starting early in the morning. We would have some breakfast snacks on the coach and we would stop off to have a meal later in the day. We would also go to a sink hole on the way back. The coach was a luxury coach with toilets on board and our seats were reserved for us. We had 4 facing each other across a table. So all very civilized. We were all in good spirits as we went along we had our breakfast which was fine and we were all relaxed. Part way through the journey a guy stood up and introduced himself. He was to be our guide for the day. We didn't realise we had a guide to look after us but hey we did.
So the guide started to speak and tell us all about Chichen Itza and about Mexico and so on. But OMG could this guy go on! and he did for hours and hours it seemed. He was rabbiting on like we were all hanging on his every word. (we wasn't) In actual fact Sean and I and Caroline and Nessie were more hooked on watching his mouth movements when he spoke. I have never seen anything like it. if you can imagine an old dubbed kung fu film where the mouth moved before the words came out, well that's what was happening here.
It was amazing and we just could not stop laughing at it. And of course we all had to do our best impersonation of him. I think Sean won this particular competition.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pFjpfmeOtg
If you have read any of my stories before you will know that Caroline has Crohns disease which is a bowel condition. She has to be aware of toilets at all times, so it was a relief to know that the coach had one on it and so there would be no problem for her.
Part way through the trip she decided to give the loo a try and so off she went. She seemed to be gone for ages and so when she came back looking rather flustered we of course enquired if all was OK.
So this is what she told us.
The toilet on the coach is quite small, Caroline (and apparently a lot of ladies) does not ever sit on the toilet seat. She does this stance that allows her to hover. So because of the size of the loo she stood to one side facing the door. Shorts around her feet and knickers around her knees in the hover pose. All of a sudden the door flies open (even though it was locked and the door said engaged) and there stands an oriental man. Unfazed the man does not immediately shut the door, and so instead of covering her modesty Caroline flings her arms open and says "really", to which the man shuts the door and retreats.
Filled now with embarrassment Caroline hangs on in the loo trying to work out how to get passed without further shame. In the end there was no other option but to do the walk of shame head up and avoid eye contact. No such luck however as she opened the door the oriental man was sat dead opposite the loo with his group. Yeah you've all seen it Caroline thought to herself as she hurried passed.
Well for us this was just comedy gold, we teased that Caroline and her snatch would be all over Asia before we got home. She was not too impressed!
The guide advised us that the government had given permission for a small group of native Mayan people to sell souvenirs around the site. However he said that due to corruption there were now over two thousand sellers there. He told us to be aware of poor quality and scams. I actually wasn't prepared for Chichen Itza I thought it was one pyramid but actually it is a massive site. There are several different buildings to see. And also a large area to walk around. The guide wanted us to all stay together and do a tour but that's not my thing. I like to explore on my own and so that's what we did. It was an amazing place steeped in history. Like the game they used to play where you threw a ball through a hoop to win, if you won they chopped off your head as your prize! I was never good at sport Id defo be rubbish at this!
The guide was right there were loads of stalls people selling the local tat. Lots of wooden masks all painted with paint from the local flowers. Little models made out of granite , woven materials and leather goods. All looked OK to me if you want that sort of thing. Looks like we did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m09N62TA2T8 my cliff jump
Sean and Nessie are into the snorkeling where as Caroline and I liked to have a walk around. I did the two cliff jumps they have there Sean again declined as did Caroline although she did come to the edge to jump but didn't.
As we all got to the other side we were all bobbing along in a circle debating where to go next, all of a sudden Caroline started to feel something touching her legs. This started a chain reaction of panic around us Sean was trying to swim away quick smart (as I said Jessie). Caroline tried to swim away as well but it wouldn't leave her alone. It was just at this point she finally realised that it was in fact the strap from her life jacket touching her leg and not the monster from the blue lagoon! What a numpty!
We also signed up for a trip to swim with turtles. This was an early start and so we sat in reception waiting for our guide to pick us up when this little old people carrier turned up. Sean and I looked at each other with a curious look thinking surely this is not for us? But yep it was was. in we jumped all rather squashed. Under our seats were snorkels and life jackets and so on. As we were driving to the place picking up people on the way we started to wonder if the trip was what we were expecting. The guide was a Dutch fella (with perfect English). It transpired that we were actually going to the rain forest to swim in a Cenote and have lunch before going on to a beach where we could swim with turtles. We were actually more than a little pissed off about this. We had already done a swim in a cenote and really didn't want to do it again but it was too late we were on our way. As it turned out this was a great trip. We arrived at a rain forest entrance and trekked through with the guide explaining all about the plant life and animals all around. There was a tree there that you cannot touch as if you do it will burn your skin! but just along from this tree is a tree that has the antidote to the burning. As we walked through it began to rain and so we had to nip passed the tree as if the rain drops hit you, you could get burnt by the water running off of the tree.
We went snorkeling in the cenote which was again clear as anything, totally refreshing and an amazing feeling swimming in the rain in the rainforest.
As we were getting out some people were going in to scuba dive. One guy was sat on the edge but one of the people with him dropped an air tank on his foot! Jeez did this guy ever scream! must have broken his foot big time.
Lunch was served to us in a wooden structure in the middel of the forest. It was all based around bananas which was fine by me but Caroline hates bananas, she wont even touch them cos she says they are furry. So one of us went hungry.
http://www.viator.com/Riviera-Maya-and-the-Yucatan-attractions/Xplor-Adventure-Park-tours-tickets/d770-a14482?pref=02 Xplor theme park was the other main attraction we had signed up for. At this place there were zip wires snorkeling off road jeeps canoeing and so on. This is mainly done in a caved environment. Have to say the place is an absolute must see. Personally this trip was not my favorite but it has to be seen the cave walk through it is amazing. At the centre of it near the locker area there is a huge beating heart that makes the sound and also lights up.
I was mostly excited about going on the zip wires, as I said I have become a bit of a daredevil and so nothing was going to stop me going on it. As Caroline had been on the ones at Xel Ha she had some confidence to have a go herself. Sean was also fairly interested but Nessie did not want to go on them.
This did create a little bit of an issue between Nessie and Sean. As Caroline had decided to have a go on the zip wire this meant Nessie would be on her own. Sean was a little torn but decided to go on them. We queued up for a while to get all the straps on and hard hats and so on. When it was our turn Sean was told he couldn't take his selfie stick. He was not impressed and so refused to leave it behind. He wasn't therefore allowed on. I think this helped Sean as he did feel guilty about leaving Nessie.
Caroline and I set off on the on the route to start the zip wire adventure. Basically there were a series of platforms that gradually got higher and higher before coming down in height. This is all done at speed on a wire.
Caroline lost her bottle to be fair as we started to get higher. She dithered for so long at one point that the staff member actually pushed her off. I was halfway across as I heard her shout " you CUUUUNNNNNTTTTTT!" charming language from a lady!
We did make it all the way to the end of the ride, as once you are on you cannot get off. Personally I loved it and would do it again in a heart beat.
When we finally go off of the zip wires and went back to find Sean and Nessie we must have been away over an hour or so. We headed back to the locker area where the heart is only to see Sean sitting there staring at the heart! "what you doing here?" I asked. So it turns out that he had been sitting there the whole time. basically he came back after not being allowed on with his selfie stick expecting to find Nessie but there was no sign of her. He had been to the eating area where they planned to meet but no sign there and she had not been around at all.
We encouraged him to come with us for something to eat but he was adamant that he should wait where he was. He had been watching the heart beat for best part of two hours. There was a camera in front of it and Sean had been watching people trying to jump and pose in front of this heart. He was getting a little irritated at some peoples inability to time their jump correctly.
Not long after we finished Nessie and Sean turned up, they weren't happy with each other for sure. We left them to have their lunch in peace, but the day was young and there was other stuff to do. Sean walked with me having a little moan about Nessie and Nessie walked with Caroline having a little moan about Sean. We knew the next few hours would be interesting! We went off to have a go on the off road driving track. As we approached the staff member there said "hello again" to Nessie! she had been on it before. Sean and Nessie jumped into one car with Caroline and I behind. As we started to follow it became clear that Nessie knew what was coming. Sean had told her that he did not want to get wet, so true to form as she came to a large puddle Nessie sped up creating a large wave going all up the side of the vehicle soaking Sean. There was also a waterfall bit as well where suddenly the speed of the vehicle dropped to a crawl. Once again Sean got it! Following behind we could see it all unfolding in front of us and we were loving it. As this off road track was going all through a forest area the car seemed to get close to the edge on one side, Sean's side. you could see his head bopping as the branches and the leaves and sticks kept bumping him on the head.
There are two routes for the off road driving and so when we got to the end of route one with Nessie driving there was no chance Sean was going to let her to drive the second route.
They swapped over and Sean gave Nessie his Go Pro to hold. We knew what was going to happen and so as the first branch smacked Nessie on the head I crashed our jeep straight into a tree laughing my head off. Fortunately these cars are pretty battered anyway so I thought that once I got to the end I would jump out quick and get out of the way.
Sean continued to try to provide retribution as he drove around, But Nessie had the upper hand as she told him that his Go Pro was going to be launched if he continued. Not to be messed with Sean loves his Go Pro.
Although Sean was convinced that Nessie would not go on the attractions on her own, he was totally wrong. Nessie had in fact been on everything on her own not just once but twice. All this whilst Sean was sat watching a heart beat boom boom boom boom! This became apparent when we were walking through a cave area and Nessie directed us Sean commented "been on this one as well love" "oh yes" she replied "thought you had" I think it was at this point the ice was broken as Sean and Nessie had a chuckle. To get his own back though Sean wouldn't go on the canoe with Nessie which meant that she had to paddle the thing on her own for the second time and it was not an easy paddle.
Nessie kept going around in circles and blocking the route, nobody could get around her either. It is fair to say that this attraction is a good day out, it wasn't my best one but it was worth the visit.
As we were having quite full days whilst we were away an afternoon siesta was a really good idea. So when we were not on a trip we would go up for a couple of hours snooze. At precisely 1800 however we would be rudely awakened by the most god awful singing Sean hit the nail on the head by comparing the singer to Margarita Pracatan.
I am normally a proud Englishman but during this holiday due to the alcohol availability I did see something that made me thoroughly ashamed. Next to the main pool was the pool bar and a group of English families mainly around the mid forties to late fifties had gathered their sun beds. On this particular day one of the men was so drunk he thought it would be funny to wet himself and cup it and throw it at his friend. Sean Nessie Caroline and myself were utterly disgusted. People looked on in horror but as people are so polite nothing was said to him. Although I do think his family saw peoples faces and may have spoken to him after. The worst thing about it for me was that they group had young children with them. As a grandfather myself I couldn't imagine doing something this vile in front of my grandkids let alone anyone elses.
As there was very little in terms of entertainment near our hotel we decided to sign up to go to the big night spot called Coco Bongo https://www.facebook.com/cocobongoshow/. We opted to go for the VIP tickets which included seats and all your drinks included. So on the night we got on the local bus and this took us all the way downtown to where the night club is situated. This club is quite famous as it is a big tourist attraction.
Caroline and Nessie were off of the bus first and straight away were drawn to these two guys one dressed as Spiderman the other as Betteljuice. Big mistake! Sean and I were very wary, its a scam of some sort they want something for sure. No they dont it just fun was their view. So we were encouraged to take pictures of them making out to propose and cuddling up to our wives. Then they decided to grab me and tip me upside down for the next set of photos. They went on to do the same to Sean. As the fun and games came to an end it was at this point the call for payment came along! As I have said I have no issues with people making a few quid but these guys wanted like £20 each! For allowing me to take pictures of my wife with them! Jog on mate.
I explained that I was going to
an all inclusive night in the club and so had no money on me, Spiderman was not impressed and became rather agitated. In the end I just gave him all the coin I had and walked away. The mood turned very sour very quickly, so we made our escape as quick as we could to the safety of the bar.
I believe it was around midnight before anyone was let into the club normally we would have all been well and truly in bed by this time, but tonight we were determined to have a good night drinking and dancing. It was a right rigmarole to get in this place. You had to queue up from inside a bar and follow through this long winding hallway. As you got further along they would let people in a couple at a time. Caroline and Nessie were ahead of me and Sean and disappeared around a corner. Once they let us through Caroline and Nessie had disappeared up a load of stairs. We followed the crowd and found Caroline standing by a security window. Turned out that security search all the ladies bags and they had found something in Caroline's that they wanted to confiscate. But Caroline was not prepared to let it go. You would think that they would be looking for drugs or weapons that sort of thing, well we had left our weapons at home and had already used all our drugs (Joking) so it was kinda surprising that anything a mid forties woman would have in her bag would be interesting to club security. Well it appears that Savlon is a mystery in Mexico and worthy of being confiscated!
Caroline tried to explain to security that she needed it and was not going to give it up without a fight (told ya pit bull) but their English was as good as our Spanish.
The fact that she would not go away and kept speaking in the end prompted the senior security man to thrust a book in front of her.
Basically she had to confirm what it was and why she needed it to be able to keep it. So in her own style she entered Savlon as the item and " itchy fanny" as the reason it was required. Security gave her the cream and off we went, laughing at what the next person to write in that book would think!
We were in the VIP area so we were showed to a load of benches to sit on with a bench in front of us. Not a table and chairs scenario we had expected. But the beer was all included and we had our own waiter who kept lining them up all night. As soon as the bottle was empty along he came with another.
The show was basically a choreographed dance show set against a backdrop of music styles through the years. They played all the famous stars like the Beatles and Elvis and so on. The dancers dressed up in the style of the time and as the singer or the band.
This was intermingled with a DJ playing and dancing on the bar. There was a flying dwarf Bettlejuice. It was all good fun. It went on to around 0400 in the morning before becoming a nite club until 0600.
Caroline and I were up for staying until the end but the music was very Latin and people were salsa dancing and the like. As an Englishman I will admit to having no rhythm at all, I am you're typical dad dancer and so there was no way I was going to embarrass myself even more than I do normally trying to compete with these young Latino guys throwing the ladies around. And so with our age creeping up on us we departed.
Arriving back at the hotel there was fresh coffee and hot dogs on offer at the reception so whilst not being a Kebab was close enough to a pre sleep half drunk snack, a very nice touch.
Caroline and I were still up by around 10am and down for breakfast, the sun was shining and so a sleep by the pool was a better option than being stuck in the room.
Prior to the end of the holiday we had to do the inevitable gift shopping for mementos for the kids and grand kids and so we set off to the Market that was being advertised as the place to go. The bus driver called out when we were near and the bus emptied. But as we walked along it seemed like we were in the wrong place. We browsed in a couple of stores where it seemed Tequila drinking was expected when you looked around. I didnt know that there are loads of different types tasting totally different from each other. Nessie (the piss head) did her best to taste them as we went around even drinking the ones the rest of us did not like. Sean and I did the expected Mexican dress up, I thought I looked really good.
I was very tempted to take mine home, but Caroline was not as impressed as Me and Sean were.As we left the shop we were approached by another English couple who were looking for the same place as us and we were swapping opinions when along
came a local guy who offered to show us where we needed to be. Again English people very skeptical in these situations we walked with him but keeping an eye on where we were going and not engaging with him as much as he wanted us to. As we got closer to the destination, the local man asked (very nicely and politely) if we would just take a look in his shop. See always a catch. But to be fair he was genuine about it there was no pressure other than our own guilt if we didn't go in. Sean is even more skeptical than me so he stayed at the back. As we walked in and Sean came in last the door slammed shut behind him. It was at this point that Sean started to panic a little. He kept insisting that they wouldn't let us out unless we bought something. As this was a jewellery shop there was very little chance of this happening. Sean was even more convinced when we had been all the way around and came to the exit. Sean tried to open the door and it wouldn't open! "told ya" Nessie wiped the smugness away from his face by lifting the lock and opening the door. As we left the local man called out, "thank you for coming in have a nice day". Have faith Sean have faith.
The two weeks away passed quickly as holidays always do. But we had a great time and have made some great memories. We laugh a lot about this trip even to this day and for me this is what your life is all about. When you are old and cannot get anywhere the one thing to hold onto are the memories of the good times you had. This was certainly one of the times.
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